I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
