She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize