I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
