Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
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