how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
