Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
