We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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