Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
