if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I stole a fireplace last night.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Randomize
