whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
