Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
