theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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