he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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