Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
