I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
