your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Someone shattered a urinal.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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