His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
