I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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