just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
