you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
