Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
