im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
being pregnant is like rehab
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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