I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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