Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
