I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
