My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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