We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
