youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize