what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
only you would photoshop your dick
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
