Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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