I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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