I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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