Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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