i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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