This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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