Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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