He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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