ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Randomize
