He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Well I just put wine in my tea
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize