I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
