I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
