ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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