I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
