Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize