A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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