fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
