I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
