Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
