barbara walters just said penis...
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
