ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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