it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
