I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
