Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
