I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I wish there were birth control emojis
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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