Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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