Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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