Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Randomize