somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
