Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
