I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
