Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
