Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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