omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
