I CAN MOONWALK!
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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