he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just cut my nipple shaving
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
