i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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