doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I think your dad took our porno
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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