he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
