First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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