Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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