nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
