i already hear my dad disowning me
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
