So drunk its hurt
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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