i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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