the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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