he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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