maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
