Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
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