i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
